I have written here about how we lost all our money on an ill-advised house purchase. And yet, here we are, buying a house again! Why on earth would we do that to ourselves?
Well, for starters, we think it is worth the extra money right now to live in a detached house (as opposed to a townhouse, where we lived before). Our two boys are very active and I really want them to be able to be playing outside while dinner is in the oven, or while we relax on the patio with glasses of wine. (Boxed wine, of course.) Comparing similarly sized houses and locations, buying compares favorably to renting right now.
It seems like a safer decision this time. We have, we hope, outgrown making impetuous, poorly researched moves. There are a lot of opportunities for both of us in Denver, so our willingness to live here is not tied to one particular job (which was the case last time–and when that job went south, we were desperate to leave).
We’re optimistic it will be a good investment. Denver has a robust, diverse economy, and we bought in a neighborhood that is still up and coming. If we want to downsize when the boys are older, there’s a good chance that selling the house would free up a nice chunk of money for investment.
Then there’s the security issue. By buying, we insulate ourselves from rent increases–AND create the possibility of paying off the mortgage, eventually, and having housing drop to a minimal line item in the budget.
Despite the advantages, I’d be lying I said we didn’t have reservations. We’ve enjoyed not being responsible for maintenance, and we are not accomplished do-it-yourselfers. Will we find home ownership too stressful or expensive? The neighborhood school doesn’t sound right for our kids–will we be able to “choice them into” a better fit when the time comes?
Did we do the right thing? Did we choose the right neighborhood for our needs? Did we choose a good time to get in the market? Ask me again in five years!
Do you own or rent? What were the deciding factors for you?
We were a little distracted in February by our house saga, which involved getting a contract, applying for a mortgage, getting a bad appraisal, switching lenders, postponing closing, and paying for a second appraisal (which was better). Whew! I’m also describing it as only sort-of frugal because Mr. FP spent a lot on entertainment. We go to a concert together several times a year, and he goes alone a few other times. Well, it just worked out that in February, he bought three full sets of tickets (one for my birthday–Arlo Guthrie–and the other two for a couple of our favorite bands).
Even with that rather large layout, our total discretionary spending was quite a bit lower than it usually is. If you’re curious, here’s the breakdown:
Earnest money: $3000
Inspections and appraisals: $1631.50
Goodwill bin for Legos: $3.22
Total moving-related: $4634.72
Groceries: $479.41. I have not see our fridge and freezer so empty since we moved in. Which is good, ’cause we’re moving out this weekend!
Restaurants: $61.05 (Why not $0? Mr. FP took a couple of day trips and stopped for meals. And one time he had a bad cold on a Saturday when I worked; he showed movies and ordered half-price Papa John’s for himself and the boys.)
Total food: $540.46
Entertainment: $339.14 (3 sets of concert tickets plus $26 of iTunes and $5 of Netflix)
Evening babysitting: $0!
Kids’ activities: $20 (To be refunded. Poor LB can’t do obstacle course class with his “bo-ken” leg.)
Bus and train ticket books: $40 (not all used)
Ting mobile phone service: $43.88
Bike supplies: $6.45 (inner tube to replace shredded one)
Gift (nephew’s b-day): $15
Wallet for Mr. FP: $32.16
Reimbursable parking: $12
Total other: $521
Total minus daycare and house expenses: $1369.48
Since my general non-housing, non-daycare monthly spending goal is $1750 AND we weren’t really going flat-out this month, I consider this a win. I think we developed some good habits, like doing a better job of eating up existing food before buying more, eating our cheaper meals more often, making substitutions to extend the time between grocery trips, buying milk in gallons instead of half-gallons (Mr. FP really, really likes the paper cartons, but, as we’re looking closer at our finances, has come to admit that this is not worth $6-8 a month), and just generally refining the household routine. I’m making thicker yogurt, for instance, which means a better Greek yogurt yield.
Most importantly, we have now started tracking all our purchases as they are made. Let’s face it, it’s already March 12 and I’m just now finishing our spending analysis for February. An end-of-the-month review was not really helping us calibrate during the month. Now, we enter everything immediately and see the new total. No doubt we will continue to refine the system (currently a Google Sheet, as Mr. FP wanted control over it), but at least there IS a system now. I just finished reading Your Money or Your Life (Mr. FP read the summary at the end) and, despite our general level of distraction and discombobulation, we’re slowly implementing some of its ideas. Like to keep track of every penny, both coming and going.
I’d like to try this experiment again when we’re settled in our house, perhaps in the fall, and see if we can hit a lower number. Friends, what’s your low-spending record?
I had hoped to have for you today an analysis of our highly distracted but well-intentioned uber-frugal February. But I have not had time to compile this analysis, as we spent half the day yesterday at the ER with Little Brother. He had a sledding accident, you see, and when he was still complaining of pain the next day, we thought perhaps he had a sprain of some kind.
It was an honest-to-God broken leg.
- We are buying a house! Our boys will have their own rooms and a backyard for the first time ever.
- I can afford to pay the bill, unlike the last time I went to the ER and, as I mused about during my flat-tire debacle, I had to ask for three different payment plans. I even have a medical FSA; I only put in $400, which may not be enough, but it will keep me from having to shell out a giant wad of cash all at once.
- My kids are healthy enough to break legs sledding. No one is guaranteed even one healthy, typically developing child, and I have two. How great is that? This is one month of my life that I’ll laugh about later, not my long-term reality.
- We have easy access to top-notch medical care. We drove there in our totally functional car and got him X-rayed and fixed up. In much of the world, that’s not possible.
- Because of that prompt access to top-notch medical care, we can expect Little Brother to make a full, uncomplicated recovery.
- People love us. We got lots of Facebook well-wishes, plus calls and e-mails from our loved ones and presents from Grandma FP.
What are your first-word problems this week? What are you grateful for?
I think Valentine’s Day is a silly holiday, and I would like to go back in time and tell Geoffrey Chaucer* not to start the whole thing. It comes with too many expectations, too much romantic competitiveness, too much obligatory cheer.
But my children will have to make up their minds on the subject, and, well, Valentine’s Day at the preschool/elementary level is A Thing. I successfully dodged this Thing last year by scheduling a doctor’s appointment for the boys that morning and not taking them to school (it wasn’t their usual day of the week anyway), but this year Big Brother goes to school every day.
Obviously, I did not go out and buy printed cards for his preschool classmates. Rather, Big Brother and I spent an agreeable hour together making extremely simple construction paper doodads like this:The beauty of the design was that we could really work together. Big Brother worked extremely hard cutting out all 16 paper hearts while I cut the squares and wrote on the backs. Then we glued a few together; he got bored gluing and put on stickers while I glued the rest.
We already owned the paper, stickers, and glue stick, so the cost in new materials was $0. Priceless: Big Brother’s obvious pride in his hearts.
How do you work Valentine’s Day? Those with older kids, how have you negotiated the minefield of expectations?
*Geoffrey Chaucer’s piece The Parliament of Fowls, about amorous birds, is the first known reference to Valentine’s Day as a romantic holiday.
After a month delay, we at the FP family did finally undertake our Uber-Frugal Month challenge, as prescribed by the folks over at Frugalwoods. Sort of. The idea has hit a minor and a major stumbling block. The minor stumbling block is less than complete buy-in from Mr. FP, who has been making some special effort but has not been willing to forgo a couple of solo weekend day trips featuring gas and dinner and especially not willing to forgo buying the Dave Matthews tickets that went on sale this month.
The major stumbling block: We got a contract to buy a house. Yay! While this is great news, it involves the writing of large checks. It has also cut into our intellectual energy and free time for identifying places to cut and for blogging about the process, which is why it has taken me until halfway through the month to finish this spending analysis.
But I did it! I laboriously combed through Mint records to take a look at where our money has been going and took a look at the Frugal Woods questions. Folks, it was pretty illuminating. You can read my answers or just skip to the end for the totals.
Is there anything we could completely eliminate?
Well, yes and no. We COULD completely eliminate restaurant meals, evening babysitting, all paid entertainment (ie, concerts) and activity fees (my YMCA membership, classes for the kids, and Mr. FP’s occasional sports leagues), but we’re pretty sure we would be unhappy about it. But skipping the first three just for Uber-Frugal February may help us get a better idea of what we really find worthwhile. These categories are definitely too high.
How’s our grocery bill looking?
Pretty good, really. We have twice as many people as Frugalwoods and spend less than twice as much, so we must be doing something right! (Not that it’s a contest, I just generally admire their spending habits.) Aside from food, we spend very little on toiletries (no shampoo or conditioner for me; bar soap for all of us; reusable substitutes for tissues, most paper towel uses, and lady things) and cleaning products (I make my laundry detergent and we clean with vinegar and water). I make my own hummus, granola bars, and yogurt, shop for best prices on staples, and use meat only as a flavoring (never a main dish). The things that I don’t make from scratch, like bread, are things that don’t seem to be worthwhile (I can get whole wheat bread at the used bread store for $1.50 a loaf, for instance).
That said, we identified a couple of areas for potential improvement: breakfast (going to see how much Mr. FP’s Grape-Nuts habit is costing us and if there’s an alternative), Greek yogurt (I made it! yay me! that stuff is expensive!), and certain luxuries. I’m going without my juice-and-seltzer treat this month–now I will appreciate it better next month–and I didn’t buy the boys any Ovaltine this month. They haven’t asked for it! Also: Get more sleep and drink less coffee.
What can I substitute for a similar, less expensive experience?
We’ve been getting a babysitter and going out to concert or just to walk around downtown most months. I’d like to try to make a point of doing at some at-home date nights, with some sort of special adult snack and some boxed wine. It will be hard, because I tend to put the kids to bed and then crash unless Mr. FP has made plans for us, but I’ll give it a try.
Where can I trade time for money?
Honestly, I dunno that there’s anything left in this category. See above all the things I make! I also mend and hem our clothes (look for a post soon about my battle to keep my menfolk in pants). While I’m not one of those people who’s like, “Oh, my house is such a mess because I’m such a good mom that I spend all my time playing with my children” (I have two; they can play with each other), I do need to get out of the kitchen eventually and, you know, read them some books or something.
Unfortunately, we will probably actually be doing LESS of this time-for-money thing this month because, well, we’re moving. I’m sure we’ll keep moving costs down (we have a good track record in this area) but there’s probably some takeout pizza and convenience food in our future.
If you want the details…
Here is my Google Sheet detailing my best analysis of where our money goes. We’ve been spending about $2175 a month outside of housing and childcare or $2054 if you subtract travel. (Mr. FP wants, in the long run, to have a separate budget for travel.) To buy our house, have money for travel, and save for the future, we’d like to cut that down to closer to about $1750. Restaurant meals, babysitting, entertainment, and shopping are all obvious targets. Mr. FP is motivated by travel and I’m motivated by a growing bank balance, so we’ve both agreed to track our spending very carefully to stay under the limit. Stay tuned for an actual budget when we have a chance to work it out together.
Any of you tried a financial fast or uber-frugal month? What were the results?
Not a lot of action over the last few months but a lot of holding steady. Here’s what it looks like:
Investments: $60,769 (up 2.6%, all of it market gains)
Property: None of interest. I used to count my car here, but have decided not to do so. It’s not an asset unless we would sell it, and we wouldn’t. So it’s not an asset so much as just a big, expensive thing we happen to have.
Credit Cards: $784
TOTAL NET WORTH: $68,195
That’s an increase of $4659, or 7.3%. It’s nice that the market has gone up, but again I think we should have set aside more ourselves–it looks like we only managed $1335 even with some generous Christmas gifts. I’m a little behind on my dependent care FSA reimbursements, though, which is several hundred dollars.
Next month: Uber-Frugal February! The goal will be to figure out a little more clearly where all our money goes and hopefully have more left over!
One of my very first blog posts was about the minimalist third birthday party I threw for my older son. That was my peak of fanciness so far. This year, we haven’t lived here as long and I don’t know any of my son’s school friends or their parents, so we just skipped the party when Big Brother turned four this week.
I gave him a fourth birthday in line with his expectations. When the subject of his birthday came up, he said, “I want a balloon! And a cake! And deco-wations!” Note what he did not ask for: presents, a party, or even a whole bunch of balloons. So I made a cake and bought a banner and some balloons. (He only asked for one, but let’s live a little.)
Since I haven’t even unpacked all their Christmas toys yet, I didn’t buy this kid any birthday toys. I did decide to get him a present: a kid-sized Klean Kanteen water bottle, so my four-year-old won’t have to carry a sippy cup around to school any more. I like the idea of a useful present that’s related to his getting more grown-up: not another toy, but more interesting than underwear. I don’t post pictures of my kids’ faces on here, but please believe he was very excited and wanted to drink out of it immediately.
Happily, other relatives had similar ideas. Grandma FP sent a check and Granny FP (aka my mother-in-law) sent a book and a pair of binoculars, which were also a huge hit.
Besides the banner ($1.75),* the present, and the ingredients used in the cake (all staples), the only other thing I bought was wrapping paper ($4.47 for large roll). Big Brother was with me in the store and wanted to buy Spider-Man paper. I explained that there was not nearly as much paper on that role as the regular birthday paper rolls, and showed him the rolls he could choose from. A lady passing in the store noted approvingly that she wished she had done a better job teaching her kids about the value of money and that I must be on the right track.
I’m not saying don’t have a party for your kids. I’ve done them before, and I’m sure I will again, but it was as much for me as for him. But please don’t get caught in the trap of extending adult/societal expectations onto your kid. He probably just wants a balloon.
*Normally I would have made one, but this one was quite cheap, and our printer is broken (which makes it more difficult, of course) and I’m awfully backed up on chores already. Sometimes it’s okay to give yourself a pass.
How have you celebrated birthdays for your babies and preschoolers? How do you manage expectations?